Title: To catch a firebird...
Summary: Chapter 4 of ‘Marauders’, in which Sirius gets a makeover, Lily is blamed, and James needs help with his wooing tactics.
Word Count: 652
Did you see her at break!
Yup. She’s an angel alright.
Aww, you’re just pissed ‘cause she hexed you instead of James.
MY HAIR LOOKS LIKE SNIVELY’S!!!!!!
No, it just looks wet.
Nah, I’d rather torment Siri.
Come on!!!!! You lot are supposed to be my friends right?
Guilt tripping isn’t going to work.
Not with his hair like that anyway.
You know, if that doesn’t come out…
But it’s going to come out. Right?
Pads, she wet your hair.
I CAN’T DRY IT!
Yea mate, we’re friends.
No. We’re not.
So after all I’ve done for you, endangering my life becoming an illegal Animagus-
No. Don’t even go there.
-JUST so I could be with you on the full moon, helping you pass 5 years of school-
I could have done it without you.
Yea, you got Rem.
-pranking with you-
Okay, we’ve got it. You’ve sacrificed tonnes just to be our friend.
You’re going to leave me to lose the love of my life, my one chance at happiness, my-
Your “one chance at happiness” made me look like SNIVELUS!!!!!
Same as Worm.
Moony… I accepted you, even became an Animagus – just for you. I was always there after the transformations, helping bandage you, bringing you sweets, helping to wrap ban- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MERLIN that’s funny!
YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU BLOODY BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
C’mon, you look…
LIKE SODDING SNAPE!!!!!!!!
YOU GAVE ME HIS NOSE!!!! YOU BASTARD REMUS!!!!!!!!!
PADS!!!!! YOU MADE LILY LAUGH!!!!
I’LL BLOODY HEX HER!!!!!!!!
I mean, Lily likes it.
She must think it looks fetching!
SNIVILUS DOES NOT LOOK GOOD ON ANYONE!!!!!!
Well don’t take it out on Lil, she didn’t do anything!
NO, NOT A THING! SHE ONLY GAVE ME SNAPE HAIR AND THE BLOODY IDEA TO MOONY!
He STILL calls you Moony.
Well it was Remus as much as I was Lily!
Yup, you’re a great friend James.
Look, just undo it. I know you know how to do both charms.
One charm one hex.
Never mind that it was him who did it in the first place.
Look, can you PLEASE-
Alright, we’ll help you get your dragon.
She’s not a dragon. She’s…
She’s… sweet, and beautiful, and fiery, and-
Perfect in every way, shape and form?
No, she’s… a fire-bird.
a.k.a a phoenix.
No. She’s a fire-bird. There’s only one of her.
Probably for the good of mankind.
Only the men though, the women are fine.
‘S why I put mankind.
Please. I really need your help.
Well, she seemed to like the Snape thing well enough…
And she likes him. They’re quite good friends.
Anything’s worth a shot.
You lot are bastards, anyone ever tell you that?
We’re just trying to help you catch your chi- fire-bird.
…you really think this might do it?
Female minds are strange places. Very strange indeed.
Who knows how they work!
Not me, that’s for sure.
And as James wandered away contemplating the idea his three ‘friends’ had planted into his head, Sirius shook his head in amazement.
“You’d think he’d’ve learned not to trust us by now.”
“At least where Evans is concerned, he doesn’t trust us any other time.”
“Don’t you two feel just the slightest bit bad?”
“Pete, if he’s stupid enough to believe that dressing up as Snivellus will help him get his ‘Fire-bird’ he deserves to be humiliated.”
“Siri’s right. He’s not in his right mind. But then when Evans is concerned he never is.”
“C’mon, I have to see how this turns out.”
“You’re a cruel bastard Black.”
“Hey, you’re the one who planted the idea!”
“If you two don’t hurry up we’re going to miss it.”
A chimaera is "a fire-breathing female monster with a lion's head, a goat's body, and a serpent's tail." - Oxford Dictionary